Be My Valentine

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red roseIt’s February and Saint Valentine’s day and the big love in is growing closer. February 14th is the dedicated day in Great Britain and many other countries world wide where love is celebrated. Couples of all ages send each other cards and buy each other gifts to show how much they care for each other. There are also many  others who declare their love secretly with cards or gifts.

Valentine’s day originated in Western Europe as a Christian feast in honour of 1 or more early saint called Valentinus. It isn’t a public holiday anywhere, but it is recognised as an important cultural and commercial celebration in many regions.

Customers In Love

I work part time in a large convenience store and really enjoy working on Valentine’s day morning. I can watch customers of all ages choose their gifts and cards and then listen to some of their stories when they come to the counter.

Children are usually the first to buy Valentine’s cards and typically bars of chocolate for their young sweethearts. It’s very cute watching them decide with excitement and anticipation and often blushing shyness when they come to the counter to pay for their gifts. I can remember my friend’s grandson 10 year old Harrison from last year. He came to the counter with a card and a Cadbury’s Crème Egg and a big grin on his face exposing a gap where he was missing his 2 front teeth, he was so cute.

flowers and chocolatesOne lovely elderly gentleman buys his wife the biggest bunch of flowers and box of chocolates every year. Last year he told me that he was 94 years old and had been married to his housebound wife for 68 years and he loved her just as much as he did when they first met. He served in the Royal Engineers during the second world war just like my father did. He was injured towards the end of the war and met his wife who was a nurse in the military hospital. She took care of him then and he was taking care of her now. It is obvious how much he loves her and so heart warming to see that love can last a lifetime.

Grumpy Valentines

Jura scotch whiskyOf course we get the grumpy Valentine’s buyers who think that it’s clever to ‘keep their wives happy’ with the cheapest gifts. We don’t think it’s clever when they knock their wives who are probably long suffering. I can’t recall ever hearing a woman knocking her partner in such a demeaning way. That is, except for the middle aged lady who bought her husband a litre of Jura Prophesy scotch whisky. I said that he would be pleased, she said that she had bought it for herself so that her husband would get too drunk on the whisky to get frisky with her. I never found out if she was joking or not.

Without fail, every year we get mostly men come into the shop on February 15th desperate to buy their partners a card. Usually we have sold out by then so can’t help them to get out of the doghouse. We even had one year a man buying a bottle of scotch for his partner. He told me that she didn’t drink so really the gift was for himself.

My Valentines Gifts

The only things that we sell that are suitable for Valentines gifts are chocolates, flowers, DVDs, wine, spirits and gift boxes of male or female toiletries. Not very imaginative when you think of all of the other gifts that you could buy.

My favourite Valentine’s day present from an ex boyfriend was a bottle of my favourite Opium perfume and a fabulous meal at one of the best restaurants in the area. I had no idea that he was so romantic so it was a very special day for me.

flowers and teddyAnother boyfriend had a bunch of flowers and a teddy bear delivered to my workplace. What he didn’t know was that there was 2 of us there with the same first and last names, but she went by Pat and I went by Trish. He put Patricia on the card so we didn’t know who they were for at first. Pat rightly decided that they were for me because her husband never bought her flowers.

My ex husband was hopeless at buying gifts – he once bought me a chip pan for Christmas so that he could have homemade chips instead of frozen oven chips! He was soooo romantic.

For Valentine’s day he would give me some money and tell me to buy a present for myself, some Valentine’s surprise! I have had a few ‘surprise’ unsigned  cards over the years. Quite annoying when you don’t know who they are, they could be jokes, from a sympathiser or from somebody who genuinely likes you but hasn’t gotten around to saying so.

In the carousel below there are a few gift suggestions if you can’t decide what to buy and after that some unusual, funny or saucy Saint Valentine’s gift ideas to be found in Amazon’s Valentine’s gift list.

Valentine’s Gifts For Her As Recommended By Amazon

Every girl really wants a Scholl Velvet Smooth Diamond Pedi Extra Coarse Electric Hard Skin Remover, that’s what’s being recommended anyway. If anybody bought this as a Valentines gift for their wife or girlfriend they would need to be pretty thick skinned I should think to avoid being too bruised in the bashing they would get.

 

Would any woman really want a NUTRiBULLET 600 Series 12 Piece Extractor Blender as a romantic gift? I wouldn’t, but it takes all sorts. At first I thought it was a vibrator in the picture. I would choose a vibrator over any man who was so unromantic.

 

Roko Streaming Stick – really? I would think that this gift idea would be more suitable for a man. If my partner bought it for me as a romantic gift I would throw it at him and curl up to watch the Walking Dead on my Kindle while he slept on the sofa.

 

This one could either be funny or offend. The BigMouth Inc Ultimate Wine Bottle Glass is not something that I would be happy to be given on Valentine’s day, but it would make me laugh at any other time. Not that I drink a lot or have a particularly big mouth.

 

 

Speedo Women’s Futura BioFUSE Goggles – a swimmingly bad Valentine’s day present idea. A man who gave me this unromantic present would be under the water pretty damn fast. Not a very inspired gift idea for women that’s for sure.

Valentine’s Gifts For Him As Recommended By Amazon

Straight to the point is a 24 pack of Durex Pleasure Me Ribbed and Dotted Condoms.

I really can’t imagine wrapping these up in gift paper and then telling my Valentine to wrap up well with these. A necessity if you haven’t known each other long, but surely not a Valentine’s gift unless it’s to let your new partner know that you are ready for sex, then that might bring a smile to his face.


If I gave my man a Gillette Fusion ProGlide Styler 3-in-1 I would be saying that his facial hair was scratching me when we kissed and that I wanted him to shave more often. I suppose that a shaver isn’t that bad a gift idea, but I would treat him to a good quality wet and dry electric shaver and some decent smelling Dior Farhenheit aftershave.

If your man is a handyman then he might appreciate a Bosch IXO Cordless Lithium-Ion Screwdriver though it isn’t very romantic. I suppose you could ask him to use it straight away to put together the flat pack romantic 4 poster bed that you’ve just bought and let him know that he’s on a promise if he isn’t too tired after erecting the bed.

Another to my mind, odd gift idea for men on Valentine’s day is the Safe Space travel lock safe with a 4 digit combination unless you are going to make the earth move so much that he will be orbiting the moon. I guess he could keep his condoms in it if nothing else, but supposing he forgot the combination at the wrong moment.

This last Valentine’s day gift idea for men could well mean that you come to a sticky end. Sugru Hacks for Your Home Kit is a type of glue for around the home and it comes in 10 different colours. Why anybody would think this a suitable gift other than a joke present I don’t know.

I had some fun looking at Amazon’s gift idea lists and writing about them. Some are most odd, but what do I know. What would I buy for my man? Probably a gadget for him to play with and for myself I like to be treated to a romantic meal out and some pampering or perhaps something a bit less traditional like a hot air balloon ride. Happy Valentine’s day, I hope you have a smashing time.

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